bartending, credit cards and the people who use them

i've been bartending now for five summers at the same restaurant on cape cod. we host weddings every weekend, all summer long. it's a nice place, but the drinks certainly aren't overpriced or expensive, by some standards, they're downright cheap. however, i am always amazed at the people who come up to the bar, order a drink like a "glass of pinot grigio," (or as they pronounce it, "peen-yo"). Ok. that'll be $4.75 please, and out comes the credit card. do you really mean to tell me that you don't have five bucks on you? if you don't have five bucks on you, then you probably shouldn't be spending your money on alcohol anyway.

you might wonder why i would complain about accepting a credit card as a form of payment; allow me to explain.

at a busy place, where you ring up the drinks, generally expecting the customers to pay in cash, you calculate the price via the computer. when a customer throws you a card, you must then delete that order, start a new tab, ring in the drinks, print the check, run the card, get them to sign it, and then enter the total amount (this includes the huge tip i'm sure to get from this whale of a spender). this process takes at least, a few minutes... not a large amount of time, but in the middle of a wedding when there are 150 other customers all thirsty on a hot summer day, time is money... in this case, money lost. i usually ask if the customer can pay in cash, but judging by their face, this is a ridiculous request. so while i occupy the computer, blocking out my fellow bartender, awkward interactions abound between family and friends while they thirst for alcohol, the only proven social lubricant. the kicker? these are the same people who don't know how to tip. a second kick to the nuts? repeat offenders... just throw the card down when you get there and run a tab!

a final note on the credit card culprits... they're almost always women. i guess maybe they were planning on a guy (or maybe another girl) to buy their drinks, but the plan flopped and they were left without cash. who knows? but from the guy pouring your apple-tini, do everyone a favor and hit an ATM before you come to the bar.